And I am now here by myself.
Before I went to sleep, we raised a toast with the leftover champagne from his Sunday party. I had less than half a glass, but on top of the other drugs I am on, I was nearly immediately woozy. I slept harder than I have in months. I woke up in the middle of the night to turn off the fans, and walked into more than one wall or piece of furniture. Very deep, heavily drugged sleep.
Today is the first transitional day to Fall. Its not Fall yet, but it isn’t Summer anymore. Last night I didn’t have to run the AC, and I even turned off the fans in the middle of the night and put on the duvet.
So this morning it is twice as quiet. No S, no whirring air.
I woke up from a dream in which I was crying. I was crying in the dream. I don’t think I was crying physically, though I woke up with all the emotions of crying. The dream was an extended “I forgot to wear my clothes” dream. As a teacher, these dreams happen to me. Once I actually forgot my clothes, but that is a whole other story. Usually I am not worried about being naked — I worry about the other people made uncomfortable by my nakedness. but this time I was worried, even though I did have underwear.
In the dream I got into an argument with my father about underwear — this make no sense, b/c it was a dream, but I think I was borrowing someone’s iPhone to watch a youtube video about underwear, and my father got angry because I he had ironed my underwear, and that was not enough, i had to go look at underwear too! This, of course, makes no sense because my father doesn’t ever do my laundry, and i have never in my life had ironed underwear. That might be fun.
Somehow we were all outside, surrounding a school bus. I was in the bus. Everyone was outside. I cursed angrily and threw my housekeys at the front window, which made a small chip or crack in the window, and walked out of the bus. The outside turned into the tightest bend in the street that I grew up on, and I started walking through tall grass in the direction of my parents house. Crying. I was in front, but I could feel the presence of my brother walking with me, to my left and a pace behind me. Some other people, who might have been friends or might have been relatives broke off from the group and started walking behind me. I was still crying in the dream. Then I woke up.
I have a habit of having the most obvious dreams. Really unsubtle…
On top of all this, I think I’m getting sick again
The good news is that I have started meditating again. I’m going to a class w/ O. Its Yoga, not the kind I did before. But close enough.
