The Taste of Blood

It is 7:45 on Saturday morning, and I can’t get the taste of blood out of my mouth.  I had awful dreams last night, including a kid who had his classmates pee all over him, then set himself on fire (and died) all for a youtube video, my girlfriend calmly explaining that she had been sleeping with a 17 year old (but she had realized he wasn’t the one for her), and having to sit through an awful experimental noise music performance, and then blood.  Dreaming of blood.  Dreaming of drowning in blood.

I think that part of your brain that thinks “wait! this might be real!” kicked in.  It is the same one that kicks in when you are having a dream about peeing.  It kicked in, and i woke up coughing up blood.  It was dark in the room, but i could tell the darkness of the blood against the white tissue I rubbed against my mouth.

I have been having lesions in my nose for a couple of weeks.  They don’t heal, but they produce these hard angular scab crusts, which often dissolve when I neti.  It is raw and painful.  Hard to breath at times.  And quite noisy.

I spat out a lot of the blood into tissues, and held my nose where the blood was coming from.  The jagged scabs made it quite painful.  I filled five tissues with coughed up blood.  I ate cereal. And I still have the taste in my mouth.  I wonder how long I was bleeding before I woke up?

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I am 30 year old Brooklynite who was diagnosed with Stage III Melanoma in February 2008. I started this blog after the first day of high dose Interferon chemotherapy in June 2008.

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